As a mom I spent many, many years modeling and managing daily routines like eating, brushing teeth, bathing, cleaning . . . The list was endless. My children know how to do all those daily tasks now and no longer need my help. I often have to stop myself from asking questions like "Did you brush your teeth?" or "Did you pack a water bottle?" At this stage they can manage those tasks, and they can live with the natural consequences if they don't manage one. If I parent them like I did when they were little, I rob them of the ability to take ownership of their lives and stop them from building independence.
We are in the last few weeks of school, and I find that this stage of the year presents the same challenges in a classroom. Teachers often put scaffolds in place to support students at the beginning of the year. Now is the time to take a step back and question those scaffolds. Are they still necessary? Can you adjust to allow for more independence? Does a child really need you to hold his hand through every task, or can you back out a little and check in periodically? Sometimes our scaffolds become more of a routine than a necessity.
If a support system is still needed, we should keep it in place. But if it is more of a comfort than a necessity, it might be time to adjust.
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