“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, that’s okay. This isn’t a family that values perfect. This is a family that values fail and fix.”
When I overheard that lovely conversation, I made a mental note to remind myself of this philosophy, which can bring lightness to many everyday situations.
- I missed a turn (small fail), then decided to go to the library to pick up my holds before heading to the store (delightful fix).
- I bought high-quality white chocolate to put in a new scone recipe. It all melted when I baked the scones (small fail). Next time, I’ll buy white chocolate chips, which are designed to hold their shape in the heat (delicious fix).
- The scarf I am knitting for my daughter has been rife with opportunities to experience failure. I have dropped stitches, used the wrong-color yarn in a row, and realized midway through that it was too wide and I was going to run out of yarn if I didn’t start over and make it narrower. I have had to back up a few stitches, tear out a few rows, and, lastly, tear the entire thing out and start over (determined fix).
Failing is part of growing. Scientists agree. In fact, researchers have discovered that failing 15 percent of the time (and succeeding 85 percent of the time) is the optimum ratio for learning.
If we can create a classroom culture that values this, students may internalize a lasting acceptance and appreciation for this aspect of learning. They may respond with greater lightness when they correct a math computation, fix a spelling error, or apologize after a recess altercation.
I have started to collect quotes that can be rotated in the classroom under the heading “Fail and Fix.” Here are a few in case you’d like to do the same.
I have great love and affection for people who go for it and swing and fail, much more than I do for people who are reserved and who are afraid to look silly.—Amy Poehler: “Prepare to Be Unprepared,” Masterclass
Let’s just all stay in the learning zone. Because there is love in winning, and there’s also love in losing. In both, we are becoming.— Coach K: “Love in Winning, Love in Losing,” March 11, 2025, Everything Happens podcast
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.— Thomas A. Edison
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.— C. S. Lewis
When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.— Eloise Ristad
Fail and Fix. I hope this beneficial mindset is part of your life and will become an intrinsic mantra for your students, too.
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